14th
I lack sexual restraint. Philosophically, I don’t see the point in it. I’ve never viewed sex as a precious act to be cordoned off from experience. I prefer to fuck on the first date. I make sex a priority because men feel more open and less ‘on’ with me after sex - I can get to know them better, and I’m sure I’m more open with them as well. And since sexual chemistry is important to me, it’s something I’d like to know right away. Delayed sex tends to be glorified sex, and while there can be glory in sex, I find that in the chemistry and connection between two people, not in the act itself.
I also lack restraint when it comes to masturbation. In the beginning, it took me many highly motivated attempts before I could make myself come, so at first, it was arduous. Once a man put a vibrator in my hands - a cheap plastic thing, back when cheap plastic things were the only option, and sold in dark, windowless shops - masturbation quickly fell into my life as part of a routine. Masturbation, to me, doesn’t compete with sex. It’s a separate experience, a less exciting experience, but still a pleasurable one.
