I remember waking up every day, and the first thought in my mind was how I was going to lose weight. A lot of people lose weight because they believe that it will give them happiness, love, freedom. The truth is that weight loss will not give you those things. When you refuse to do what you love because you don’t like the way you look it’s called self-hatred.
It’s often said that submission is a gift. I feel like domination can be just as much an act of generosity, and that both can also be thoughtless, greedy and one-dimensional. We’re human. But it’s undeniable that most good D/s is transformative, a ritual that changes you in the way that all good magic spells do. That thread of transformation runs through many of these stories, a message that it’s not the floggers and rope burns and commands that comprise submission, but the internal gifts it leaves you with when the scene is done.
Flushing about ten shades of pink and red, he’s my own personal valentine lit up under my words. He stammers over his tongue then attempts to stutter out a few words, but he can’t. Instead he rises abruptly, one of his large hands pushing into my shoulder blades and before I know what’s happening, he’s got me bent over his desk, my skirt pulled up, exposing my lace panties, and he lands a few really good blows.
— "I Always Do" by Kiki DeLovely, from Serving Him: Sexy Stories of Submission
BDSM can show you sides of yourself you’d never considered before. Maybe you’re the shy, quiet type, but are with a lover who wants to be ordered around, told what to do, yelled at, who is at your service in every way. That’s heady stuff and a power trip that can surprise you with how you react. Similarly, if you are exploring submission for the first time, it can be both exhilarating and scary; you have to truly trust the person you’re with, and trust yourself. You can test your mental and physical stamina and emerge awed by the power of your mind and body to, say, transform pain into erotic pleasure, or process something we’d hate in our daily lives into something incredibly erotic.