6 weeks without sex I have to say, I don’t really miss it…maybe I would if I were in any way more ahead with my work, if that weren’t perched on my shoulders like a weight, along with guilt, and a very sad bank account. Or not. Hard to say, but right now it seems like there are more important things to worry about than trying to find “the one.” Not that I really believe in “the one” but I’m using that as a shorthand for someone I could fall in love with and vice versa who wants to have children and be all adult and boring together.
I do miss massages, but those I can pay for…when I get some checks I’m waiting for. My back has this amazing way of reacting to stress by tensing up in really specific spots that are hard to reach. I could use my Hitachi Magic Wand but I think I need a high-powered back massager. I see the wisdom of the whole one day at a time mindset when it comes to this sex and dating break. In some ways November seems far away, but it’s more that I wonder if training my mind not to miss that kind of intimacy will mean that come November I don’t actually miss it, that I’m happier on my own. We shall see…I am happy to be sans that kind of drama. I have enough stress and deadlines to substitute for drama. And I could have hot sex without drama, pretty much anytime. There is a part of me that feels extra mature for turning that down, and part of me that feels kindof dumb about it. Mostly I just feel overwhelmed by life, like there are just endless tasks and for the most part, I’m only doing them because they’re on the to do list, because I said I would, not because I get some major satisfaction out of them, which is a little sad. Thankfully there are a few bright spots on the writing horizon that feel a little more exciting than checking something off a list.
I’ll get through it, even if I don’t get to all the things I said I would. In the past I’d use that as an excuse to get nothing done, but now I’m just barreling through, trying not to emulate my dad and think things like, “If only back in 1998 I’d attended class, I could have a JD.” True, but utterly irrelevant.
Please reblog and pass this on to anyone you know who might be a good fit - May 1st is a firm deadline!
Call for submissions: Best Sex Writing 2012
To be edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel, selected by guest judge Susie Bright, author of Big Sex Little Death
Publication date: December 2011
Deadline for submissions: May 1, 2011 (earlier submissions welcomed!)
Editor Rachel Kramer Bussel is looking for personal essays and reportage for inclusion in the 2012 edition of the Cleis Press series Best Sex Writing, which will hit stores in December 2011. Any non-fiction writing covering the topic of sex will be considered.
I like work that looks at sex in new and unusual ways (see Stacey D’Erasmo’s “Silver-Balling” in Best Sex Writing 2009 for a prime example, as well as “It’s a Shame About Ray” by Kirk Read and “Sexual Outlaw” by Betty Dodson in Best Sex Writing 2010), that challenges us to think about sex and our own sexuality, is thought-provoking and possibly disturbing. I want sex journalism that’s found in the most unexpected places and is as topical as possible.
No fiction or poetry will be considered.
Previous editions of BSW have featured authors such as Brian Alexander, Violet Blue, Susannah Breslin, Betty Dodson, Stephen Elliott, Gael Greene, Paul Krassner, Judith Levine, Michael Musto, Scott Poulson-Bryant, Mary Roach, Tristan Taormino, Virginia Vitzhum, and others.
Requirements: For reprints, story must have been published (or is slated to be published) between August 1, 2010 and December 31, 2011, online and/or in print (book, magazine, zine or newspaper) in the United States. Original, unpublished work is also welcome.
Please send your double-spaced submission (1,500-4,000 words) as a Word document or RTF attachment to bestsexwriting2012 at gmail.com – you may submit a maximum of TWO pieces for consideration. You MUST include your full contact information, a 50-word or less bio, and previous publication details for reprints.
Include your name, email address, mailing address, phone number, and exact publication details (title of publication, date of publication, and any other relevant information). Only send work you own the licensing rights to.
Submit up to three submissions from their publication, following the guidelines above. Provide the author’s contact information available upon request.
Email address (for queries and submissions): bestsexwriting2012 at gmail.com
Deadline: May 1, 2011 (earlier submissions welcomed and encouraged)
You will receive an email confirming your submission; after that you can expect to hear back from me by August 2011.
Author hereby grants Editors, during the first term of the United States copyright, and any renewals thereof, in the “Work”:
a. The non-exclusive right to “publish” (i.e. print, publish, and sell) the Work as part of the Book in book and digital form in English in the United States and its territories; and
b. The non-exclusive right to “publish” and license the Work as part of the Book in book and digital form in English in other countries; and
c. The non-exclusive right to license translate and publish the Work as part of the Book in book and digital form in languages other than English in all countries.
Rachel Kramer Bussel (www.rachelkramerbussel.com) is an author, editor, blogger and event organizer. She is Senior Editor at Penthouse Variations, sex columnist for SexIs Magazine, and has edited 38 anthologies, including Gotta Have It, Surrender, Best Bondage Erotica 2011, Orgasmic, Fast Girls, Spanked, Bottoms Up and Best Sex Writing 2008, 2009 and 2010. She hosted In The Flesh Reading Series from 2005-2010 and writes for a variety of publications about sex, dating, books and pop culture.
Susie Bright (http://susiebright.com) is the author of the national bestsellers Full Exposure and The Sexual State of the Union, as well as The Best American Erotica and Herotica series, which ushered in women’s erotic publishing. She the host of Audible’s In Bed With Susie Bright, the longest-running sex-ed show in the history of broadcasting. She was co-founder and editor of On Our Backs magazine, and was the first journalist to cover erotic cinema and the porn business in the mainstream press. A progenitor of the sex-positive movement, Bright taught the first university course on pornography, and brought lasting sexual influence to her role in films like Bound and The Celluloid Closet. Her latest book is the memoir Big Sex Little Death.
I’m in the process of taking one of the worst nights of my life and using it very loosely to create an erotic story, or at least, create the setting/inspiration for an erotic story. I’ve got 800 words to go. Feels good to, in a way, take back the night, even though you can never literally get back time you’ve lost/misspent. If it gets into the book I’m submitting it to, I’ll let you know. And for those who are interested in erotica, soon I’ll have details about the erotic writing Learning Annex classes I’m teaching (it’ll be available for download).
From The Guardian, a rant by Bidisha against pubic hair removal that, but of course, has to devolve into slamming women. Because that’s so fucking feminist. Oh wait, I’m so ashamed of my body…which is why I’m not having sex this year but I am getting my pussy waxed. Silly me. Maybe I should try to write something for The Guardian. I don’t feel up in arms about pubic hair or the lack thereof as an “issue” but women of the world, you really need to learn how to argue FOR something without tearing other women down. A shocking notion, indeed.
Will a woman really do everything she can to meet every passing fad, even if it’s uncomfortable, time-consuming, irritating, expensive, troubling, humiliating? And look at the reward: intercourse with a porn-adoring male who actually loathes women’s real, naked, hairy bodies?
Are women so ashamed of their bodies’ natural beauty, so unaccepting of things as they are that they will do anything at all, even if it’s degrading, to get some willy time? A man who withholds his attention and affection according to the follicle count of a lady’s crotch doesn’t deserve intimacy with a real-life woman. A man who likes a woman without pubic hair despises adult women so much that he wants us to resemble children. He should stay at home instead in front of a computer, masturbating alone to the hair-free images he reveres.